AUTHOR: Robin Dugall DATE: 12:54:00 AM ----- BODY:

I have to break my blog promise...as mentioned below, I felt I needed to warn my few readers and fellow travelers that I was going to take a break from the blogsphere while the TEAM 05 conference was taking place. And, to tell you the truth, I was cruising along quite well until a young lady whom I have the honor of knowing as a student in our Youth Leadership Institute Community shared with me a letter she had recently written. I am posting this letter for one reason: you ought to be reading it and getting a taste of the real lives of teens in our culture. We have reality television in our culture that sugar coats the real lives of desperate people under the guise of contests and voyeuristic entertainment. Let me say it plainly, we don't know reality, really! This letter is a snapshot of the lives of American teens trapped within a commodity driven, materialistically focused, hedonistic consumerism that is destroying lives while we merrily assume that as long as our paychecks are coming in, our favorite baseball team is winning, our bellys are full and our homes are safe that all is right with the world. We have no clue! How the heart of God must be breaking! Imagine the millstones around the neck of a culture that we have created that is killing the lives of those most precious to God. Well, enough of my ranting...read away. I am going to block out the name of the young lady and other specific information for personal reasons - I admire her and love her too much to be able to expose her to any harassment because of what she has insightfully exposed. Trust me though, this is all real! Read, contemplate, pray! For those of us who dare to call ourselves "Father", this is a letter that demands our attention! "A Cry For My Friends" Lyrics from a song by a group called Postal Service (a popular band) "“This place is a prison and these people are no’t your friends Inhaling thrills through twenty dollar bills (snorting cocaine) And the tumblers are drained, Then flooded again and again. Pretending theres glamour and candelabra if you're drinking by candlelight. You know that it'’s not a party if it happens every night."” Hey. I am "X", a 17-year-old junior at "XX" High School in southern California. I live in a home where both my parents honor Christ and love me and believe in me. My love for Jesus Christ continues to grow and I am a volunteer leader with a student ministry group called "XX". More and more lately I have been feeling deeply troubled by the hurt and pain that seems to always be going on with my friends and classmates. One night I was feeling particularly “weighed down” and asked for prayer at my bible study. That week the group leader told my pastor what I was feeling. Pastor X called me and asked if I would be willing to share with our church body some of what is going on with many of our teens today. Here are my thoughts, experiences and tears. Before I get to the particulars it would be best if you knew a little about the group of students I am talking about. "X" High is rated academically in the top 5% of the public schools nationally. Our city is also one of the most affluent and low crime communities in the country. If you saw us at a youth group, the mall, or Starbucks, your first impression would not label us as being "those troubled fringe kids"– but you probably see us as your typical "“fun loving teens". In many ways that is true. Being in that twilight from adolescent to adult is kind of exciting…but there is a lot that is going on around us that is scary.…Sometimes I wonder why the ones who could be the most help are the ones who seem to either don'’t know or don't care. The more I get more involved in the lives of my friends I realize that there seems to be an epidemic of ignorance among many parents. Most of the time their teens hurt seems to go unnoticed. Since my freshman year I have personally encountered, counseled, or suffered with my friends with almost every tragic event that I can imagine. o A number of my friends have had abortions. o Another will drive to Santa Barbara where she can get the morning after pill. o There are about 4 friends left in a large circle of acquaintances who are still virgins. o I've received a phone call from an extremely drunk mom while she begged me to divulge who was the boy that raped her daughter. That same daughter ran away that night and drank until she almost died of alcohol poisoning. o I'’ve counseled a close friend on the phone on what to do about her mom that she has found drunk and beaten unconscious by her step dad. o Multiple friends have either attempted suicide or seriously consider it daily. o Male family members have sexually abused many girls I know. Even more who have been sexually abused period. o I have a friend who is currently a full-blown, self-admitted alcoholic. He can'’t go until 3 in the afternoon unless he'’s had a drink. o I've had to make lunches for a friend because their mother is so mentally ill that she won't allow her daughter to eat. o I know 5 girls off the top of my head that have scars on their wrist from cutting. o I hear of parties where "“cool parents"” take shots with their kids and friends. o I know dads who have bought their sons and daughters bongs for their birthdays. o I’ve seen extreme racism, and the Heil Hitler sign hundreds of times. I know of a handful of guys who just graduated who are currently in jail for hate crimes. o Talking through and working out a conflict with someone is hardly the way to handle things anymore. Fights no longer break out only between guys. o I found myself one night trying to keep a group of girls from throwing another girl off a cliff after they had beaten her. o I have received 3 anonymous death threats in the past year. Violence, for many, takes precedence over all other forms of conflict solving. o There is a growing influence to blur the line between defining male and female. I walk through my school and see freshman boys putting on full-face make up in class. I see girls kissing each other in the hallways. o At one point last year there were three girls in just one of my classes who were pregnant. One of them had a miscarriage, and was so brokenhearted that she had to go to therapy for months. She attempted to get pregnant again her sophomore year. o Many girls perceive stripping and prostitution to be desirable professions. Aspiring to be in Playboy one day is a dream. o There are so many girls who have eating disorders it is impossible to count. Diet pills have made a huge comeback. o The stress and pull to be sexually attractive grows stronger every day. o A boy pulled out a pornographic magazine in class. o I've seen bags of weed, cocaine, and ecstasy pills passed on in the hallways, and at lunch. I once walked into the restroom to find the teachers discussing a syringe that was found in the toilets. If you walked through our school parking lot at anytime of day, you could likely find a number of kids in their cars, smoking weed between classes. o As I sit in class, I hear conversations that have made me physically sick. My mind sometimes becomes so numbed to the things that I hear, that now I make a habit of keeping my nose in a book so my thoughts aren’t constantly bombarded. o I recently had a conversation with a girl about Kerry and Bush that ended up with her shouting at me because her best friend is gay and wants to get married and have kids someday. o Some girls have decided to experiment with Wicca. (A form of witchcraft). o A friend told me that she loves God and believes in the Bible, but believes that it is now outdated. She likes to experiment with Kabbalah and Buddhism, instead. But, she still "“believes in Jesus"”. This kind of spiritual beliefs is not uncommon. I could go on and on, but I think you might be getting the point. This is a little about my 3 years in High School and what is happening with some of my friends and fellow students that I love and am committed to. I said earlier that I am part of a student campus ministry and youth group. I have seen many, many, wonderful things happen and a handful of friends choose to love and follow Jesus. There are a number of youth leaders who are real champions to me. They have been there for me and for a number of the teens. Overall things do not seem to be getting better but are growing darker. It feels though like we are in a few lifeboats in the middle of a tsunami. My heart breaks for these hundreds of lost friends, acquaintances. My generation. Your kids. At the same time my mind has become numbed by the horror going on around me. I get so lonely sometimes, that I feel like I’m drowning in an ocean of hopelessness. I know many kids that follow Christ who feel the same way, discouraged, and helpless. We need to do something. We need help. I just got back from being in Costa Rica, for a ten day missions trip”, and the last day I was there, I had an experience that really shook me up. A number of us were taking a break surfing. I had been out in the ocean sharing a surfboard with my girlfriend. The waves were getting bigger. We paddled out to help a friend retrieve a stray board. Just as we helped our friend get his board a wave came and I pushed my girlfriend off on the board we were sharing and she caught it and rode it all the way in. It was not until then that I realized, that I had drifted a long way out, was in the middle of a riptide and no one was in sight. I started to panic because my arms were growing tired, I had a pounding headache, and I was starting to grow fearful that I wouldn'’t make it back in. I was crying out for help as loud as I could, but there was no one in sight. I kept turning around and around to see if anyone was near, and I saw no one. By then there was no way I could have swam back in, even if I wasn’t caught in this rip tide. I was now completely exhausted and too far out. I was giving up and my prayer was now pretty much, "“Okay Jesus your going to have to figure this out or this is how you want me to die". Just at that moment, I turned around again, and out of nowhere, my Costa Rican friend was there! A few seconds later our team leader was there as well and they pulled me out of the water, got me on a board and took me in. I was never more afraid, relieved or thankful in all my life. I believe that this is similar to the kind of fear and sense of hopelessness that many students in the schools are feeling about their lives. Alone, scared and helpless, who is going to rescue us? I know that the Lord has placed youth leaders and kids like me in the school to help, but the truth is it is not enough. How can we help? Of all the kids I know, the biggest difference between those who are “making it” and those who are “drowning is those who have a dad who cares. I would say that more than half of students I know personally are from broken homes. And there are at least another half of those who have dads that are actively speaking into their lives words of hope, and encouragement, and providing positive feedback and direction for them. To us, our dads could be, and in many cases are our heroes, our lifesavers. I believe dads are the difference makers. Some mornings it is such an effort to get out of bed to go to school. I ache for my friends, so much so that sometimes I think I recognize their pain more than they do themselves. I am so angered by some of the tragedy some of my friends have had to endure because it does not have to be that way. I hope what I have shared will give you a perspective on what is reality for a lot of us today. Please don't be discouraged. If anything, allow this new information to be a wake up call. I beg you- don't let this story cause you to react out of fear. We don't necessarily need more controls as we do more encouragement and guidance. Just be aware of the issues we have to deal with every day we climb out of our car on Monday morning. It can be a scary world for us - just like it is for you. You know what makes it easier? Dad. Having our dad there to fall into his arms is the best feeling in the world. We may not admit to that, but it'’s true. I know-my dad is my best friend AND my Hero. All we want and need is for you to be there.

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: wellis68 COMMENT-DATE:8:14 AM COMMENT-BODY:wow, a powerful picture is painted in this letter. I want to ask what God wants that picture to look like. --------